How Compassion, Not Criticism, Fuels Real Change….

……And how therapy can help you see yourself through kinder eyes

When we think about making changes in our lives — whether it’s healing old wounds, breaking patterns, or stepping into a new version of ourselves — many of us default to one harsh method: self-criticism.

“If I just push myself harder.”
“If I just stop being so [insert unkind word here].”
“If I could just get it right this time.”

We think that if we’re tough enough, strict enough, or critical enough, we’ll somehow force ourselves into growth. But in reality, real and lasting change almost never comes from a place of harshness. It comes from compassion.

Why Self-Criticism Doesn't Work:

Self-criticism often keeps us locked in cycles of shame, fear, and self-doubt. It can actually make it harder to take healthy risks, to forgive ourselves when we slip, and to truly believe we’re worthy of the good things we’re reaching for.

Instead of moving forward, criticism keeps us stuck.
Instead of empowering us, it weakens our belief that change is even possible.

In therapy, one of the biggest shifts we work toward is learning how to replace the harsh inner voice with a kinder, more understanding one.

How Compassion Opens the Door to Real Change:

When we approach ourselves with compassion — even in the messy, vulnerable moments — something powerful happens.
We stop seeing mistakes as evidence of our failure, and start seeing them as part of being human.
We stop punishing ourselves for struggling, and start supporting ourselves through the struggle.
We build the safety and trust within ourselves that growth truly needs.

Compassion doesn’t mean lowering standards.
It means creating the conditions where growth is sustainable, and not based on fear.

How Therapy Can Help You See Yourself Through Kinder Eyes:

At ATC Counselling Services, my role isn’t to judge or “fix” you.
It’s to walk beside you as you explore who you are, where you've been, and where you want to go — and to help you do that with more compassion and honesty than the critical voice inside often allows.

Together, we can:

• Learn to recognise when the inner critic is speaking (and gently challenge it)

• Build a language of self-encouragement and understanding

• Understand the roots of the harshness you turn toward yourself

• Practice self-compassion, not as a fluffy ideal, but as a real tool for resilience and growth

Because real change doesn’t happen when we shame ourselves into submission.
It happens when we feel safe enough to believe we are capable of it.

And I’m here to help you find that safety — within yourself.